Forgiving others
Read this if you want to know how & why we should forgive others - even when that seems a huge step to take
1. Why should we forgive other people?
Matthew 6:12-15
12And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
14For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Q - What happens if we DON'T forgive others?
A - God won’t forgive US!
That’s an automatic consequence.
Illustration
It’s like the coding logic in a computer program:
If value A = 0 … Then do B
If value A = 1 … Then do C
Imagine the dreadful consequences of standing before God on Judgement Day, with our sins unforgiven!
Further reading
Mark 11:25-26
Luke 6:37, 11:4
Ephesians 4:32
2. Q - How do we forgive?
A - We take the D.U.F.F. steps
D = Decide
We Decide to forgive - even if we don’t want to (which is usually the case).
Like we Decide to take medicine - we know it does us good, even if we don’t like the taste.
U = Understand
We understand why it’s important to forgive others (see section 1).
God's mercy to us, and us forgiving others are like 'two sides of the same coin'.
F1 = First
We make the First move.
Don’t wait for the other person to ask us for forgiveness.
Q - Why?
A - Because they may never ask!
F2 = Forget
We should Forget about the hurt we initially felt.
We then feel much better - because we’re no longer eaten up with resentment.
Further reading
Proverbs 19:11
3. We shouldn't limit our forgiveness
Matthew 18
Verses 21-22
21Then came Peter to Him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?
22Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven (= 490 times i.e. endless).
--> Jesus told us to NOT LIMIT our forgiveness.
Illustration
It's like we can look up at the night-sky, and see that there are no limits to the Universe.
Further reading
Leviticus 19:18
Luke 17:3-4
Verses 23-35
23Therefore is the Kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
24And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
25But forasmuch as he had not to pay (= because he could not pay), his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
27Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed (= released) him, and FORGAVE him the debt.
28But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
29And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought (= begged) him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
30And he would NOT: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
31So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
32Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
33Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
--> When we forgive: we're only extending the grace & mercy we've already received - to other people.
34And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
35So likewise shall My heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
--> But if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us.
(as we saw earlier in Matthew 6:15)
--> That’s an awful prospect!
Further reading
Colossians 3:13
4. It's hard to forgive others - but these three points can help
A. Hand the situation to God - HE'LL JUDGE EVERYONE PERFECTLY on Judgement Day: far better than we could!
Romans 12:19 ~ Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves (= don't take revenge),
but rather give place unto wrath (= leave the way open for God’s wrath): for it is written, Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Further reading
Deuteronomy 32:35
2 Samuel 3:39
2 Chronicles 24:22
Proverbs 20:22
Isaiah 11:4, 59:17-18, 61: 2 & 8
Obadiah 15
Colossians 3:24-25
1 Thessalonians 4:6
2 Thessalonians 1:6
2 Timothy 4:14
Hebrews 10:30-31
Revelation 16:7
B. Knowing that when we DON'T forgive someone - it doesn’t hurt the other person, it HURTS US
Because we’re eaten up with resentment.
Christian Author Lewis B. Smedes wrote: “When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.”
When we forgive, we free ourselves from the pain of anger & bitterness.
C. Make forgiveness a WAY OF LIFE
Then we’re not faced with lots of individual decisions each time - about whether or not to forgive.
Illustration
It’s like if we’ve given up smoking, or drinking alcohol:
Then we don’t need to decide each time we’re offered a drink or a cigarette.
Our initial decision covers all future situations.
5. Satan tries to exploit unforgiveness
2 Corinthians 2:10-11
10To whom ye forgive anything, I (= Paul) forgive also: for if I forgave anything, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ;
11Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.
Take offence --> Builds a fence.
Unforgiveness --> Divorces, church splits etc.
But if we DO forgive each other - it STOPS Satan from gaining a foothold.
Illustration
It's like when we cover up food - that stops flies & their diseases from getting in.
6. Jesus told us not to retaliate
Luke 9:51-56
51And it came to pass, when the time was come that He should be received up, He stedfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem,
52And sent messengers before His face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for Him.
53And they did not receive Him, because His face was as though He would go to Jerusalem (= He was travelling to Jerusalem).
54And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt Thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias (= Elijah) did?
55But He turned, and rebuked them, and said, Ye know not what manner of spirit ye are of.
56For the Son of man is NOT COME TO DESTROY men’s lives, but to SAVE them. And they went to another village.
--> James & John wanted to retaliate: to punish the people in the village.
--> But that’s not how Jesus told us to behave.
Jesus told us to 'turn the other cheek'.
(Matthew 5:38-39, Luke 6:29)
When did we last 'turn the other cheek'?
'Cheek-turning' seems to have died out!
Today - folks are more likely to argue / fight back.
So the next time someone hurts us - let’s obey Jesus & 'turn our other cheek'.
1 Thessalonians 5:15 ~ See that none render evil for evil (= pays back evil with evil) unto any man ;
but ever (= always) follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men.
Further reading
Genesis 37:19-28 then 50:15-21
(Joseph & his brothers)
Proverbs 24:29
Romans 12:20-21
2 Timothy 4:16
1 Peter 3:9
7. What if the situation seems too big to forgive?
If we say: ‘I can’t forgive’
We actually mean: ‘I won’t forgive’
We can be inspired by these three examples.
Example A - Naaman’s maid 2 Kings 5
Verses 1-3
1Now Naaman, captain of the host (= commander of the army) of the king of Syria, was a great man with (= in the sight of) his master, and honourable,
because by him the LORD had given deliverance unto Syria: he was also a mighty man in valour, but he was a leper.
2And the Syrians had gone out by companies, and had brought away captive out of the land of Israel a little maid; and she waited on Naaman’s wife.
3And she said unto her mistress, Would God my lord (= Naaman) were with the prophet that is in Samaria (= Elisha)!
For he would recover him of his leprosy (= Elisha would heal Naaman of his leprosy).
--> Naaman’s soldiers had captured the maid & taken her from her home.
--> How would WE feel about somebody who’d done that to US?
But the maid wasn’t bitter - she:
Turned the other cheek!
Helped her captor to be healed:
Verse 14
… and his (= Naaman’s) flesh came again (= was restored) like unto the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.
Example B - Jesus on the cross
Luke 23:33-34
33And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the malefactors (= evil-doers), one on the right hand, and the other on the left.
34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.
--> Jesus asked His Father to forgive those who were KILLING Him!
Example C - Stephen
Acts 7:59-60
59And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying (= Stephen prayed), Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.
60And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge (= do not hold this sin against them). And when he had said this, he fell asleep.
--> Stephen asked God to forgive those who were STONING HIM TO DEATH!
8. Lesson for us
Have WE been hurt more than:
Naaman’s maid?
Jesus?
Stephen?
IF THEY could forgive those who harmed them - then SO CAN WE.
Amen